I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I wish there were birth control emojis
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I would ride that face into the sunset
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
