Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
