he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
no. you can't hotbox the world.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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