one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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