If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
