Already got asked if we're dating
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
