This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
