I got chris browned last night
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
