Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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