ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
