I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
