I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
