I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
