Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
they call him Oral-B. enough said
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize