Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize