i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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