Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
