Who wears a wallet chain?!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
