you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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