so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
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Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just want to make out with him forever
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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