After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
