I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
