Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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