Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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