Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
