they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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