I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
