I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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