dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
