is wine microwaveable?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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