I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Threesome in a minivan. New low
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
