bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
