actually, I'm a sock model
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
