morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I will be naked everywhere
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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