i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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