Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
