please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
A+ Viking dick
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
