It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
