I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
3 2 1 whiskey
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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