Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
