um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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