The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
