I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
