this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
