i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
