Betty ford says i'm here all night
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
