i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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