So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
