Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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