I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
