think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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