We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
im on a boat
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